GET RIPPED for just MOMENTS a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's up, CREW? 

A lot of suckers think that GETTING RIPPED is all about competition. 

LET'S GET

ONE THING

STRAIGHT. 

The only person you're competing with is you.  If you're more of a wiener today than your past-self was yesterday, then YOU ARE NOT GETTING RIPPED.

STILL, a lot of people REALLY want to know:  "Who is the MOST RIPPED PERSON IN THE WORLD??????????????"

Well I can't tell you their name, but they were probably a

.

Cavepeople were the most RIPPED people EVER!!!!!!!!!  Here's why:

1.  THEY DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.

Back then, it was GET RIPPED or DIE.  Cavepeople had to:

1.  Try to not get EATEN by VICIOUS PREDATORS.

2.  PROTECT their YOUNG at ALL COSTS.

3.  CATCH and KILL their own food.

4.  ROAM the WORLD for their WHOLE LIFE.

5.  Try not to FREEZE TO DEATH.

6.  MAKE all their OWN TOOLS.

Oh yeah, and

7.  SLEEP ON THE FLOOR OF A CAVE.

It was simple.  If you wanted to LIVE, you did those things.  But all that avoiding and protecting and catching and killing and roaming and making and sleeping in caves had a side effect:  THEY ALL GOT YOU SUPER RIPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't believe me?  Just imagine if an average, modern-day houseperson had to fight an average, prehistoric CAVEPERSON.  No question, the caveperson would totally WUPP 'em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

...So what happened?  How come people aren't so RIPPED anymore?  Ever since then, world wiener levels have been increasing with each time somebody figures out a new way to make life easier, more comfortable, and more convenient.  The following scientific graph illustrates this trend:

Since life has been made SO easy, housepeople have to figure out other ways of GETTING RIPPED, and that's IF they even WANT to.

So if you REALLY want to GET RIPPED, think like a CAVEPERSON!  See how many little comforts and conveniences you can LIVE WITHOUT.  With EACH one you give up, you'll be LESS of a wiener!!!!!!!!!!!!

GETTING THERE while GETTING RIPPED

ARE

YOU

READY?????

DO

YOU

GOT WHAT IT TAKES?????????

If you answered YES to the above questions, 

GET READY 

TO

GET RIPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Here comes MORE of the BEST health and fitness-related content on the 'net..............RIGHT NOW:

Everybody has to work, so most suckers spend all their time trying to GET RIPPED when they're not at work.  If you're lucky, you might be able to figure out a way to GET RIPPED while you're at work, but sometimes it's hard to figure out ways.  But did you ever think about trying to GET RIPPED on the way to work????  Well there's a way, and it's called

RIDING

YOUR

.

There's TONS of PROs to riding your BIKE to work. 

First, you get EXERCISE for your BODY, which is an ESSENTIAL PART of GETTING RIPPED.

Plus, you get to be outside more each day, and everybody knows that being outside will always get you MORE RIPPED than being inside.

Plus, you have to get up earlier because it takes a little longer to get there.  That's ok though, because getting up early is also a great way to GET RIPPED, just ask Ben Franklin!

Plus, you get to save money by not burning gas!!!!!!!!!!!

Because riding a BIKE will get you SO RIPPED, I ride my BIKE to school as much as I can.  The new school year just started, so far I've done it EVERY DAY, and you know what?  I'm going to see how long I can KEEP GOING without driving to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I'm also going to try to get my students, co-workers, and bosses to bike to school, too.  That's why I formed the 

.

So far I'm the only member.  I hope my school isn't full of wieners, otherwise I'll end up looking like a real sucker.  I guess I'll have to wait and see if Eisenhower has GOT WHAT IT TAKES.  But either way, at least I'll still be GETTING RIPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, so who's the REAL sucker????

Hope it's not you.

The only REAL Foot Action

Are YOU tired of being a wiener?
Are YOU willing to DO WHAT IT TAKES to GET RIPPED??
Do YOU know where to find the BEST health and fitness content on the 'net???
 

RIGHT HERE

at

www.GETRIPPEDNOW.biz

And, what's even more,

IT'S

100%

FREE!!!

Lots of suckers think that spending a pile of dough is the only way they can GET RIPPED, but actually

GETTING RIPPED IS CHEAP AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(In fact, it's so cheap, it can't be bought!)


One thing people try to buy a lot is shoes, but be careful!  Shoes are important to have, but sometimes, shoes are for

.

Shoes are good for protecting and hiding your FEET.  And while it's rad to have sick kicks, what happens to your FEET is actually pretty weak:

Lots of people are probably afraid of stepping on rocks, or sticks, or grass, and they're probably afraid of getting dirty, or wet, or sunburned.  But guess what?

If you don't

CHALLENGE

your feet,

they will start to

weinify.

 

So every chance you get, go with

.

 

Sure, you may stub a toe or step on a really hard pebble, but your feet will heal and when they do they'll be  EVEN STRONGER!!  And having STRONG FEET is a BIG part of 

GETTING RIPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Don't be a silly-spending, soft-soled SUCKER! 

Your feet will get dirty, but at least you won't be a wiener!  

 

 

(Plus, it FEELS GOOD!)

Get Ripped: BACK IN ATTACK!!!!!!!!!

A hush descends upon the herd.
Something has stirred.   
Could it be..................................?

THAT'S RIGHT SUCKERS!!!!!!

GET

RIPPED

IS

BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOT ONLY THAT,

Check out the BRAND NEW DIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!:

www.GETRIPPEDNOW.biz

This 

time 

it's 

ON.

By now all you loyal members of the GET RIPPED CREW probably think I gave up and turned into a

.

Well All I gotta say to that is

YEAH

RIGHT

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET READY to GET SCHOOLED.

Here's the sitch:  I've been really BUSY lately, but in a GOOD way.  It turns out, PEOPLE WHO STAY BUSY, 

STAY RIPPED.

I was busy a LONG TIME, so now I'm 

RIPPED AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But now that's DONE and I'm back to GETTING RIPPED.  In fact, I'm even carrying around a little

to help me get 

EVEN 

                                    MORE                                    

RIPPED 

THAN 

EVER!!!!!!

I just got ONE QUESTION:  WHO'S WITH ME???  Who's GOT WHAT IT TAKES to JOIN THE CREW????

GET BUSY

or

GET RIPPED

The choice is yours, suckers!

As most customers of the GET RIPPED SYSTEM know, using the COLD is a GREAT way to help you GET RIPPED!  Exposure to COLD TEMPERATURES is FREE, EASY TO FIND, and will help you to not be a WIENER! 
That's why

WINTER

is the

#1 MONTH

for

GETTING RIPPED

!!!!!

For those of you that are still AFRAID of the COLD, now is the BEST TIME to

FACE

YOUR

FEAR

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

What am I talking about???  I'm talking about

That's right, WINTER is officially OVER!!!!!!!!!  But that doesn't mean there won't still be some COLD DAYS outside.  So  

GET OUT THERE 

and 

FACE IT

while you still can!!!!!!!!!!  And leave your coat at home!  You can take comfort in knowing that WARM WEATHER is on the way, and that will GIVE YOU STRENGTH to FACE THE COLD until it's DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By then, you'll be RIPPED enough to face it in the shower until NEXT winter!!!!!!!

NOW GO

KILL 

THIS 

WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLD IT - here's another GREAT TIP from GET RIPPED

Have you ever wondered why, after CRANKING OUT SOME HEAVY REPS, you end up breathing all loud and heavy?  That's because

MUSCLES

NEED

AIR.

That's why your middle part comes equipped with a set of premium

What AIR-GETTERS do is take AIR from outside of your you, and send it to the muscles inside of you.  And the more AIR your MUSCLES get, the more REPS you can POUND OUT, and the MORE RIPPED you can get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So because of all that, it's a good idea to get those AIR-GETTERS UPGRADED TO MAXIMUM!!!!!!!!!  

Q:  How do you do that?  

A:  By improving your overall AIR-GETABILITY.  

Q:  How do you do that?

A:  By training your AIR-GETTERS to get the MOST out of every breath.

Q:  How do you do that?

A:  By seeing how long you can go on JUST ONE BREATH.

Q:  How do you do that?

A:  It's easy - you

JUST

STOP

BREATHING!

 

Then just keep an ordinary watch or clock handy so you can keep track of time.  So far, I'm up to

2:00 

MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry about dying, your AIR-GETTERS will take over if they have to wait too long.  But if you STICK WITH IT, you can get your AIR-GETTERS to wait a little longer each time!  

And THAT means your AIR-GETTERS will be getting MORE and MORE out of EACH BREATH!

And THAT means you're MUSCLES will be getting EVEN MORE AIR for doing EVEN MORE REPS!

And THAT means you'll be able to get

EVEN

MORE

RIPPED

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think about it.

EXERCISE your RIGHT to GET RIPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As the VERY FIRST SUCCESS STORY of the GET RIPPED SYSTEM, I know how hard it can be to STAY ON TRACK.  Sometimes LIFE can GET IN THE WAY of GETTING RIPPED by making you have to deal with more pressing issues than getting your REPS in.


For example, when the Governor of Wisconsin tries to pass a bill that would take away workers' union rights, I decided that staying home and doing chin-ups was NOT the best way to spend my time.  Fortunately,

are a GREAT way to GET RIPPED! Not only do you get to exercise your FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT of FREE SPEECH, but you also get to spend a LOT of time walking, chanting, and carrying signs around.  And if you don't think THAT'S good exercise, just wait till you see how tired you are at the end of the day!

Scott Walker (the Governor of Wisconsin) says he needs to take away RIGHTS to balance the state budget.  But ANY customer of the GET RIPPED SYSTEM can easily see the REAL reason he wants to take away workers' RIGHTS is because he's a POWER-HUNGRY CAREER POLITICIAN who is trying to make up for the fact that he is a giant

Just to prove my point,

I hereby

CHALLENGE

SCOTT WALKER

to an

ARM-WRESTLING CONTEST

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right Walker, I DARE you to PROVE you're not the WIENER we all see you as!!!!!!!!!  If you can BEAT me, I'll TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID about how you're an UNEDUCATED, OPPORTUNISTIC WIENER who only cares about POWER and MONEY!!!!!!!  I doubt you're up to the CHALLENGE, but YOU KNOW HOW TO GET A HOLD OF ME!!!!!!!!!!

To everybody else:  Remember, RIGHTS are like your BODY - they need EXERCISE!  

USE 'EM 

or 

LOSE 'EM!!!!!!

I hear there's room for more in Madison this weekend....